11.30.21 – Blank Page

I’ve been toying with this idea for a few days. Death: Life-changing, but not life-ending. I’ve not made it a secret that I regularly practice manifestations and tarot. Over the last few days, the Death card and the Judgement card popping up in various contexts. Due to this, I am now asking myself two questions. How do I face change when I can’t see it in front of me? How do I answer a calling and gracefully release the inauthentic version of myself?

Everything Has Changed.

Everything changes at all times. Nothing stays the same forever. It can grow, evolve, regress, end, etc. There will be periods that feel like they never change. I’ve walked through months of my life completely unaware of anything going on around me. I’ve gone through life lessons, made a choice, and chosen wrong. Eventually, the opportunity to learn the lesson returns. You may not recognize it at first. It may hurt worse the second time around. Do you make a different decision this time?

Officially I’ve been on a “healing journey” for three months. Looking back, I’ve been on this for longer. I’ll read old social media posts of inspirational quotes and get that weird sense of deja vu. I’ve been changing and evolving for years, but it didn’t stick until I got serious about it. You can heal without yoga and crystals. You can change your life without affirmations and moon rituals. You can eventually learn your lessons on your own. My spiritual journey has molded me into a balanced person who loves myself. I can forgive the self-doubt, negativity, and betrayal. I acknowledge the times that I didn’t show up for myself and move forward.

Do I know what’s going to happen? Of course not. I’ve just reached the point where that doesn’t scare me.

When I think about what’s ahead of me, it’s almost as if it’s been wiped. I see myself continuing with my routine and getting better at everything. I’ve finally realized that I can let go of the how and the when. Even when I overthink the situation or overcomplicate it, I don’t have to stay in that energy. I can put focus on something else.

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