11.19.21 – Tower Moments

Happy Full Moon! I’m writing this at 1:29 AM, and here in Kentucky, the moon is starting to “disappear” from the sky. As mentioned in my previous post, this was an exciting time to see a lunar eclipse. As far as the personal effects of the eclipse and full moon, I noticed a dip in energy and an increase in emotions this afternoon. After lying in bed and crying, I decided that a bath and a movie were probably my best options to start feeling like myself again.

During my salt bath, which is an excellent way to reset if you’re feeling the ick, I started processing something from earlier in the day. I probably do one or two tarot readings for myself a day. I can usually tell when I need to pull cards on a situation or feeling. This morning, I did a general tarot spread that had five cards. I drew a Tower and a few other reversed cards. I’ve seen other tarot readers squirm when they see the Tower, but others welcome it. I try to think of it as clearing away the old and broken for a new life. I didn’t think of the card until I got home at the end of the day and did another spread. I pulled another Tower card. I did a follow-up on that particular spread because I had questions. The Tower showed a third and final time before I realized that it wasn’t trying to warn me about a life-changing event in my situation. I needed to process the emotional upheaval that was already happening below the surface. Once I cleared those emotions, the tower card stopped showing up.

Within the last few months, I’ve tried to focus on what positive and balanced feels like to me. Around people that I’ve just met, I’m shy and reserved. I like to be able to read someone’s energy before going in too deep with them. Once those foundations are there, I start to become extroverted. I have no problem admitting that I’m a little loud, brutally honest, and laugh at things easily. For years, I operated through extreme highs and lows. Feeling calm and collected might as well have been a foreign concept to me. If I wasn’t feeling completely happy or sad, I thought something was wrong. I equated fine to numb when that wasn’t the case. So now, when something disappointing happens, it doesn’t have to wreck my entire day. It’s incredibly freeing to not feel like I’m being held hostage by my own mind. These tower moments are starting to feel like the building blocks of a new foundation.

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